I suppose you want your other boob now?

I had a realization this morning that my boobs are not my own. Sure, they're attached to me. I carry them around all day. Which, mind you, is not an easy task. I was ABUNDANTLY blessed in the boob department. I know there's that saying that you want what you can't have...so women with tiny boobs want huge boobs and women with huge boobs want tiny boobs. Yeah yeah...it's true. While I wouldn't want tiny boobs, I would like less boob. I've also had plenty of people tell me that if I lost weight the boobs would shrink. I have yet to see that happen! I'm blessed in that I've just had two babies and have lost like 70 pounds since the height of my weight gain with the first pregnancy (the heaviest I have ever been and never want to be again). Have my boobs shrunk? Not one iota. My bandwidth has shrunk by like 4 inches, but the boobs themselves still occupy the entire cup in full.

A week or two or three ago Rachel Ray had an episode dedicated to bras. Women that were considering breast augmentation came on and were fitted with a bra and suddenly none of them wanted surgery anymore! Mind you most of these ladies all wanted bigger boobs. With a good fitting bra, they didn't want/need surgery anymore. That was not so surprising. I can spot a bad bra from a mile away. Perhaps I should be a "bra whisperer" myself, as I'm so skilled at spotting bad fits and knowing just how to correct it. Not to mention that it is one of the tenants of my life that a good fitting bra, that a sexy looking bra, can give any woman a major confidence boost. You could be wearing a nun's attire and still feel sexy if you're wearing a red lacy bra. Rachel did have one woman on that wanted a breast reduction. The surprising factor here was that after her bra fit she felt fine with her boobs and no longer wanted a reduction. Bullshit is all I have to say to that. Now, she was a good two cup sizes smaller than me, and perhaps she felt she could deal with it. But having carried around these jugs for 20 years (granted they weren't this large for the whole time) I can attest that no bra out there would make me want to keep lugging them around for another 20 years. The problem with that idea lies in the ability to find and afford a bra that fits. Especially nursing bras!

And this is where my problem really reared it's head. When I was free of lactation, my bras fit. They weren't easy to find...in fact I've only found one store that has bras that fit me well and aren't $900 each. They're $40. I suppose this isn't ridiculous, it's possibly quite reasonable. Except when you see bras in Walmart for $10. Oh to have tiny boobs that don't need Fort Knox type support and storm flag sized bolts of fabric to make. Now that I'm feeding a small human with my boobs, I've found it necessary to find a nursing bra with even a small amount of support. What I've found however has been a bizarre inverse situation. It appears that the larger your boobs are the less support you need in the nursing bra category. Women with tiny boobs can have wires and full coverage and a variety of colors! Women with huge boobs have the option of a sports bra type ordeal that comes in L, XL type sizes. I'm sorry, but when your chest is 3x sized, no flimsy piece of fabric is gonna do anything for you! Especially if the cups just have a wrap style to them. "Hey stranger! I'm bending over! Here's a boob for your viewing pleasure!" Yeah. It's pretty pointless even for sleeping in.

Thank God for http://www.ebay.com/ though! Because just sticking in a google search for your bra size yields an insane cacophany of websites that don't even offer your actual size. Frustrating much? But with eBay, you can put in your bra size and their search will actually yield results with your size! Amazing. My only suggestion though is to be advised if you're an American and ordering a bra from England. If you think you'll have full coverage...it's best to order the next cup size up. I found that out the hard way, although amusing. It turns out to be too strenuous to return the bra, so the hubby and I have dubbed it my porn bra. It's only for home use, because it's very pretty, but not supportive and well, the demi portion of it BARELY covers my nipple. The lacy part above that (making it "full coverage") sort of makes me have quad boob, which I find annoying, but Brian says makes him feel like he's sleeping with Billie Piper. I hope that's a good thing! However, after the British Bra of Porn, I went back to eBay and found a Medela bra (which I couldn't even find on the Medela website - at least in my size) with wide straps and an underwire and full coverage and I'm giddy with excitement for it's arrival. It's still flesh colored and boring, but at this point, if it fits and is remotely supportive I will dance in the street. For that will at least make me feel a little like these things attached to me can be managed.

Now, back to where this post began in the first place. (Wow, I just might have an ADD problem afterall!) These things on the front of me aren't mine. They belong to the three other people in the house and my sister. I'll start with the strangest one first...my sister. She's two and a half years younger than me, but quite a bit taller. However, my boobs are her personal pillows. Whenever we get together we hug and her head goes right to the boobs. Apparently they're just the cuddliest. Then there's my husband. Do I really need to ellaborate there? Then Boogins...she never found them useful, she refused to breastfeed, but instead has found boobs to be for entertainment. Granted she finds all boobs fun, not just mine. She motorboats them, pulls down shirts to see them, etc. Ah, our little lesbian. (yes, we joke...but if she turns out to be, we'll love her and be fine with it) Mostly though, at least for the moment, my boobs belong to Annabelle. Do not try to tell her otherwise. She will fight you and she will win. She might be tiny, but do not mess with her when it comes to her boobs. We went to the pediatrician for her 2 month baby well check and she stared at my boobs for half of the visit. Mind you, she ate right before we left the house and we didn't even have to wait when we got to the office. When I get home from work she has to have her boob. Before I'm allowed to even kiss her daddy! I'd deprived her of it for too long while I was gone. And lately, after feeding her after work she then insists on being attached to it until she goes to bed around 10. I don't really let her be all latched on for 4-5 hours, but if she got her way I think she'd be all for it. As it is, she'll eat and an hour later whine that she needs more. I usually make her hold out an hour and a half to two hours. Mostly because I know the more I get into her before I try to go to sleep the better my chances are that she'll sleep all night.

Shortly though, I'm sure to see that look. That look that makes me say "I suppose you want your boob now" Not mommy's boob...no, it's her's.

Purpose to Life

We watched Julie & Julia this weekend and it got me to thinking about what sort of project I would want to take up. Ultimately I decided that I'm too ADD to figure it out. Since I was in high school (at least) I wanted to take excellent photos. However, a photography class was always in conflict with one of my many science classes. *side note - as a secretary I use that biology degree just all the time! ha! Actually I need to chase a rabbit here and mention that I don't actually have the degree officially. I still need to finish (read - retake) two 300 level biology/chemistry courses and then I need an art/music credit of sorts. Oh I took the music/art credit but apparently the college LOST the note from the dean stating that Jazz Ensemble credits would actually count for that particular requirement. Because, while I don't mind the actual taking of a course (photography would count!), it's the whole COST factor that bothers me. However, I'm one of those dishonest folks that tell people I have the degree, because seriously, I did 4 years of college, and I took all the classes I needed...I just happened to need to retake some classes as I did not pass with flying colors. Anyway, back to my ADD. So while a photography course has never been in the cards for me, photography itself has been. I take pictures all the time. Unfortunately, the composition of said photos is lacking. I have the damndest time getting folks centered or looking at the camera, or the shot turns out blurry. Or there's a penis in the photo. Whaaat? Ok...so I'm joking about that last one...although given my hubby's experience yesterday, we may have a male ghost in this house just exposing his poker into pictures. We'll see how often it happens. I had a conversation with an actual photographer once who told me that really the key to photography is to just take a LOT of pictures, and then only show people the good ones. The wonders of digital photography is that you can delete the bad ones. Ha! Love it. So, if that's the case, I guess I don't need the photography classes after all. I'll just keep taking loads of pictures and I should get some that turn out ok. Secretly, I always feel like I have a substandard camera and it must be the camera that's causing the problems with my photos. But realistically I have to admit to myself that the problem lies with the person behind the lense. Damn.

So, what next? Well if I was literal with the movie, I could take up cooking! But cooking doesn't appeal to me. I know the basics and if I want something fancy I have my hubby whip it up :) He's amazing in the kitchen. He makes entire meals out of nothing. I don't know how he does it. But I've enjoyed everything he's made. In fact, one of my favorite meals is one in which we basically had no food in the house and he threw together the random things we did have. Wha-la! Dinner. Yum.

Knitting? Well I do that already. It's relaxing. Usually. I have a tendency to be all ADD and miss the actual instructions in front of me and then get annoyed when 12 rounds later I realize what I did, have to take those 12 rounds out and redo it all. Then there's the 13 mo old yanking on the yarn or trying to put the entire project in her mouth. *sigh* Ok, so I do so love to knit, but it isn't as if I could write about my knitting journey or give anyone sensible instruction on it.

Travel? Sure! I love travel! And in fact the very few times I have traveled, and have then written about it, I've been told that I should do it for a living. But alas, it's hard to find someone else to pay for my travel. Not to mention that I would want to tote along my husband and babies. So, if anyone out there would like to pay for a family of four to jaunt about the world and write about it, I'm totally your girl, but I'm not going to hold my breath.

Now, these are only a couple of things that have crossed my brain in th last day or two or three. If I were to go on about everything, I'm sure you'd think I was totally insane. So I suppose that in the end, I'll settle on doing my job (because I rather have to, in order to afford food and clothing and housing and all those things that are necessary for life), knitting when I can, and taking care of my family. Let's face it though...isn't taking care of your family the best purpose to life anyway?

Giraffes (and elephants)

Sometime soon after Boogins came home from the hospital, she was crying (as all babies tend to do) and Brian (the hubby and author of www.freshworms.blogspot.com) was attempting to soothe her. I'm not entirely sure how he stumbled across the giraffe song (http://www.weebls-stuff.com/songs/giraffe/), but thank the Lord that he did! So while the song gets completely annoying and after about the 50th time you'd almost prefer to shoot yourself to hear the song again, it has been the sole solace to Boogins. No matter the reason for crying, this song seems to instantaneously stop all noise. Until she starts to giggle like Candace from Phineas & Ferb. But as that's an amusing, happy noise, we don't mind it so much. After a year of this diddy, it appears that even just clicking on the link and showing her the "buffering video" on the computer she settles down, for she KNOWS what's about to come out of the speakers! "There was a giraffe in my loft...I didn't invite it!" Over and over.

Well, the song isn't enough. For the crying, yes. However, Boogins has acquired many a giraffe in the year. She has a stuffed giraffe, giraffe rattle, giraffe towel, giraffe Halloween costume (gosh darn it she was ADORABLE!), etc.Daddy even wanted to paint the giraffe (the one from the song) on her walls in her bedroom. (as well as put a sign at the bottom of the garage/loft stairs that says "No Giraffes Plz. KThxBye") I'm all for it. Except...

So, here comes Annabelle. Poor little Duckins. Without any say in the matter, she has been relegated to liking elephants. For the giraffe brings his "elephant friends with him". Now, it doesn't appear that Annabelle has the same affinity to the song as Boogins does. However, I'm still on board with painting the giraffe and his elephant friends in their room. And in fact, I have gotten Annabelle a stuffed elephant and elephant rattle. Let's face it...elephants are cute too! (Boogins was almost, and I do repeat almost, as fascinated with the elephant at the zoo as she was with the giraffes) I'm kind of happy to report that this seems to be a theme of sorts anyway. At Babies-R-Us today, I saw quite a lot of giraffe/elephant bedding! Mostly in blue & green and slightly looking boy themed, but there was one pink/purple giraffe/elephant set, so girls can be all about it too. Then again, the babies' room will be done in light blue, green, white and brown, so it'd all work anyway! I found a cute collapsible box in green with a giraffe on it and I grabbed a plain blue one. I'm hoping that someone I know (be it me, the hubby or the graphic designer sister) can create an elephant head in the same manner as the giraffe, we can print it on iron-on transfer and put it on the blue box. I also got some cute ideas for lamp shades and light switch plates.

Anyway, that being said, I'm hopeful that Duckins will grow to love elephants the way Boogins loves giraffes. Either that or her memoir will be titled "Trampled by Elephants - How My Older Sister Always Got Her Way"

Background

I'm 31 years old and have two kids. Julie Marie (aka Boogins) who is 13 mo old and Annabelle Brisbane (aka Duckins) who is 2 mo old. I never planned on having the two so close together. Julie was born two months early, weighing in at 2 lb, 6 oz. So the idea of getting pregnant again was FAR FAR FAR from my mind. But then, when she was only 3 months old, I found out that I was pregnant with Annabelle. I called my OB's office crying, not knowing how we could possibly handle another baby. My OB (God love her) laughed hysterically as she confirmed the pregnancy. And now that Annabelle is here, my OB asks when we'll have the third (hoping for a boy). Ummm...not for a LONG LONG time if ever. We don't necessarily care to have a boy. I'd hoped that Annabelle was a boy when I found out I was pregnant, and in fact because the pregnancies were so very different I swore that she must have been. But, when we found out she was a girl that was rather a relief, as we had tons of girl stuff! No need to buy a whole new set of baby necessities in blue (as much of the stuff we currently had was pink...not necessarily on our own doing). Anyway. Sometime during Julie's hospital stay in the Special Care Nursery (she spent 5 weeks there just getting bigger) my husband went to pick her up and said "Come here you little Boogins" and it stuck. She's been Boogins ever since. Then when we found out I was pregnant with Annabelle we were thinking "what can we call this one?" and we happened to be watching NCIS and I said "Duckins" after Dr. "Ducky" Mallard. And now that Annabelle is here, we've found it to be quiet suiting, as she honks like a duck in her sleep. Turns out that might be related to a food allergy, but nonetheless, we will continue to call her Duckins. Or Annabelle. The whole thing...not shortened at all.

So, that's the basic background information. Now I must run after Boogins and feed Duckins. There shall be more hilarity in posts to follow I'm sure.